Savoring Misdirection

Welcome to Mama Africa
Maye, Welcome to Mama Africa
Welcome to the wilderness of wonders
Welcome to the wilderness of riches
Welcome to the wonderland of cultures
Welcome to the heartland of traditions
Welcome to Mama Africa
–Mbizo Chirasha 

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Here we find our two heroes at one end of Zimbabwe’s finest rainbows. Time for a nine hour road trip across the country- off to discover unknown routes.
I have so much to say about my trip to Zimbabwe – and indeed I might actually get around to doing some blog entries this month – but at the moment I’m having trouble focusing on anything but Senegal. There’s only eight shopping days left til the elections, and today is seeing ongoing demonstrations and police-versus-population standoffs. What makes today especially sad is that conflict has broken out in and around Friday prayers (if you’re from my neck of the woods, equate this to our Sunday church services). I could go on about this (and I really kinda want to), but I am going to pull myself away and focus on the excellent week I just spent down south.  
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Behold, our intrepid pilot! Apparently my driving credentials (which include hitting a car while driving in another left-hand side country) have earned me permanent placement as navigator. Bon.

We’re headed out to the eastern part of the country- Hwange National Park to be specific. I am told that this game park is the size of Belgium. I’ve never been on a safari, and I think it is high time that I graduated from the excellent wild animal interactions that I had growing up in a five child house while visiting the San Diego Zoo.
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But first, we have to get to Belgium. That means we’re going to spend a bit of quality time moving across our favorite place to see wild, wacky, and abnormal stuff: the open road.
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And ooh la la…forget wide load- calling this tire abnormal really is a valid statement. Stuff is worded a bit differently down here, and the more I travel to other anglophone countries, the more I disbelieve that English is one single language.

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The roads here are in pretty good shape, all things told. Heck even the horses are afforded a bird’s eye view of their potential imminent demise. But I hope not. People seem to drive okay here.

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There is stuff for sale out on the streets, but not nearly as much as you see in Senegal. When there are sold, they usually consist of hanging butternut squash. Seems to make sense.

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I have to say that the air is so fresh and clean in Zimbabwe! I am loving the open space and beautiful skies of this country. I will spare you my roll of film, but I photographed a lot of puffy clouds passing overhead. As we drive around I’m wondering how this country has passed under the radar for so long.

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This is no former French colony- the signs, street painting schemes and buildings clue you in to this fact. I think this is a post office, but I can’t rightly remember.

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Another perk of being an anglophone in an anglophone country is that you enjoy stores with names like Supa Car Sounds.   

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More English language that require no translation. Look closely…we don’t have these kinds of billboards back in Dakar.

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All of the town signs seem to be sponsored by a product or a store. This is kind of like in Senegal, where you often only know the name of a town because it’s written on a bank advertisement. This sign makes me want a burger (and hey, check out the clouds!).

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Bulawayo is our kind of halfway point on the road to Hwange. I took this picture because I wanted to capture the street name. Apparently every town has a Robert Mugabe Road. Discuss.

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What do you do with retired aircraft? Why, you ship them to Africa for a second life, don’t you? After this afterlife, I guess that second-hand planes are next reincarnated as restaurants. Somehow I don’t think the eats in this place are very bueno.

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You know you’re getting close to Bulawayo when baboons start to take up prime real estate in the middle of the road. Jerks.

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So our four wheel drive chariot enables us to take the back entrance into the lodge where we will be staying. This is great because it will cut an hour off of an already lengthy journey.  Prior to departing, we were emailed a handy map that seems to be marked quite well. We should have no problem getting there, right?

Let’s recall my favorite Yiddish proverb: Man makes plans, God laughs.
We are prepared to plan, but also to laugh. Good thing that the both of us are self-admitted wandering souls…cuz this might get a little tricky.
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Behold Kennedy Road. According to our treasure map, there is a sign on the main road pointing out that this exit off of paved certitude. You will be shocked to learn that we missed this mysterious sign and had to do some backtracking in order to get to this spot. 
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How do I know that we were on Kennedy Road? Well some trial and error eventually brought us past a sign that seemed to be posted in the middle of nowhere. So at least we’re not going to end up in Botswana. Yet.
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Oh look- an abandoned Shell Station! This seemingly significant structure (and really, there aren’t many on this road) must be on the map, right? Wrong. We precede to hunt and peck our way through incorrect and overgrown turns. More than a few times we end up in someone’s front yard and we simply wave at locals who walk out to see exactly who has dropped in for tea.

Did I mention that this is also the rainy season? I don’t have any photos, but we definitely forded a few puddles that gave me flashbacks to my Oregon Trail days. This is a bad sign, because with that fantastic computer game I always opted to “ford the river” and subsequently drown everyone in my Conestoga wagon. Simpler times, when the stakes weren’t quite so high…
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As we continue to drive for what seems like ages (we haven’t yet figured out that this hand drawn map isn’t drawn to scale), we start to lose hope that we are going the right way. None of the promised reference points are coming up, but we are pressing on anyway. When we do at last we come upon an actual sign out, we start to crack up at what is written. This is definitely not on our map, but of course we stop to take a photo. Someone’s got a sense of humor, and we are definitely not the first people to be out here rambling around in general mystification. We’ve got luck on our sides, and somehow we sense we’re going the right way.

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Hey! Impalas! Are they on the map? No, but you know what? We are out here with lions, tigers, elephants, and other wildlife. For all we know, these guys are just hanging back in the tall grass and laughing at us as we roll by.

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At long last our perserverence pays off, and we are rewarded with not one but two landmarks from the treasure map: railroad tracks and the water tower. This is so exciting that we decide to stop on the fully-functional railway and take some photos. And also to check out the pretty clouds.

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Signs posted in a game park the size of Belgium are not exactly plentiful, nor can they be enduring. This is one of a limited number of signs that took us to the finish line. We are almost at The Hide- and thank God we are not casual visitors, because no one in their right mind would venture out here sans reservation. Still, we’ve kinda liked the idea that most of this area is untamed. It makes the payoff that much greater.

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And speaking of money shot, here we are pulling into the lodge. It’s been a fun trip, but we are definitely happy to arrive and stretch out. We’ve got a few days of not driving ahead of us- and it looks like our adventure has only just begun.

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