I think that the moment you discover your intended definition, the mould is cast for the duration of your life. This experience isn’t a label that can be unwillingly imposed upon you- it’s rather something that you’ll stumble across and take on as your own. At least I hope that you will- because there’s a lot to be said for knowing you’re where you belong in this crazy game.
I don’t think that people really come into this world with much cognizance of what they should be doing with their time. At least I didn’t. I wandered around for about two decades thinking that I was directionless and dumb (and perhaps some of that remains). Whatever your years of formation throw out – and I’m talking about the long battery of trial and error- those are the things that will ultimately provide you with an “ah” realization that will make everything seem so obvious. This moment might take years to arrive- and you might one day be reflecting back on things and suddenly understand what makes you truly fulfilled. Life is not exactly a mathematical formula.
You all have a pretty good idea of what rings my bell, and my path to epiphany started here in Paris. People know they’re in their correct environment when everything feels seamlessly attuned. In balance. You are able to weave yourself into the surroundings without even thinking about it. This sentiment counts for whatever it is that you happen to love: being a mother, piecing people back together after a crash scene, or yelling at sailors on the fo’c’sle of a ship that is refueling while underway. All of these things do not pertain to me, but they might perhaps pertain to you. Happiness is important.
Me? I love writing- and I’ve been doing it since before I even knew I was writing. Travel, that came later- but I would submit that for me it’s not just the act of traveling and living in faraway lands. I’d say that traveling and residing in the right places do wonders for my morale, my inspiration, and my creativity. That kind of travel and the fountain of writing – for me they go hand in hand.
I must say that whenever I find myself occupying space in Dakar, I feel almost the complete opposite of what I feel when I am in France. I first came across this thunder strike moment when I was sixteen- and in the span of almost twenty years since, I don’t think I have changed since that moment. It’s that whole mould-casting phenomenon that I mentioned up above….and incidentally, it’s also something that White People Like.
Do I dare tell you that I am not happy in Dakar? Sure. I don’t think that such a confession will come off as a surprise to anyone. But that doesn’t mean that I am necessarily miserable there, because I am not. A lot of us in the world happen to be temporarily idling in neutral while we wade through times that aren’t exactly fortifying our happiness quotient. The key is to remember what is important, and to try in some small way to inch back towards what matters most.
If you’re not at least attempting to do this very thing, I’d say you’re not living a life well lived.
