I have found little success in sticking to anything over the past couple of weeks. 

“I have plenty to keep me busy. But it’s hard to concentrate.” A friend recently texted me this—but really it could have been me saying this to her. Or it could have been any other person on the planet talking about life right now.   

It’s true that the days are fine in and of themselves. I have books to read, a language (or two) to study, workouts to complete, and some really painful teleconferences to attend. Last week I received a message from my former Senegalese teacher, checking in to see if I was “safe”. Everyone is doing this right now, and luckily most of us are indeed safe. The hard part about being safe, however, is coexisting with the underlying truth of why we are all here. It’s a bit like having a large looking glass in your entryway that faithfully reminds occupants that yes, this is how reality looks. And that double chin is the least of my troubles.

The other thing about these days is that mundane tasks are completed in a more magnified fashion. The path out of the maze each day has become far too easy to trace out. In the time before lockdown and facemasks, it was so easy to complicate waking hours with heavy doses of adversity. An hour sitting in traffic, the planning of a weekend getaway, deconflicting schedules with friends to meet up on a Friday night. All of these acts combined to help minimize unconstructive existential contemplation. 

In this period I find that I don’t want to write at all; I already spend too much time cycling between personal preoccupation (e.g.: Is it possible to keep any junk food in the house?) and self-chastisement (e.g.: What is wrong with me? Folks working supermarkets and medical centers would love to swap tales of woe with you…). I find it tough to complain…but I also grow weary of reading, talking and living in this lockdown. I know we all feel this way.

Today I turned on the news and saw some footage that did, however, make me smile. While the story wasn’t about COVID-19, the underlying story did include a heavy dose of tragedy. And for this reason, perhaps it should not have made me smile. The story was about Genoa, and the report that the final steel span was put in place on the new bridge that has been under construction for about a year.

I wrote about the Morandi Bridge about two years ago—and for those who do not remember, this bridge in northern Italy collapsed under heavy rain and killed 43 people in the process. It was a dark day for the nation and material condition of the bridge provoked many questions. Something unimaginable (or at least highly unlikely) had occurred and left many without words. In the year following, the remaining sections of the bridge were demolished, and a new design was donated by one of the planet’s foremost architects (and a native of Genoa), Renzo Piano.  

In unveiling the bridge’s design, Piano was quoted by saying that the bridge would be, “simple but not trivial. A steel bridge, safe and durable. Because bridges do not have to collapse.” And now that the bridge is nearing completion, every single person who worked on that bridge and will soon traverse it, are certain to put their faith in his description. Perhaps not because it is indeed so much safer—but also because all of us have no choice. Brides don’t need to collapse—but sometimes they do. Either way, humanity both craves and requires connection. Structures like bridges are exactly the engines that help us to navigate life, both literally and figuratively. 

Italy’s Prime Minister was in attendance as the last deck of the new bridge was clicked into place. In his speech he promised “Never again would we have a tragedy like this”, and on such an auspicious day, this is the right thing to say. We believe in the hard work undertaken by crews to reconstruct this bridge (Hell, they worked through holidays and freaking Coronavirus). But life is uncertain. We’re all bound to resume our lives outside and make a general mess of things. I also don’t want to completely kill the joy of the day, but bridges will continue to collapse.  Just as illness will always threaten our livelihood once COVID-19 wears itself (and us) out.

At this stage you are probably thinking that I should have said anything at all. In this period, better to tend to my fits and starts of other activities that don’t require reflection. Like watering my plants, solving a Rubik’s Cube, or watching John Krasinski single-handedly make us all feel better about life right now. But I don’t feel as negative as you might think.

The story of the Genoa Bridge, as I mentioned earlier, makes me feel positive. Maybe it’s because I have always been attracted to the concept of bridges. They help to keep us connected—whether they are used symbolically in literature or literally in helping us to reach our loves ones. Their presence and this bridge’s completion help to sustain whatever the DNA is that we have inside that promotes hope. And for Italy, in this case, this milestone and the speed and determination with which it was accomplished is a true testament to the people. 

I haven’t lived here super long, but I’ve been in Italy long enough to know that Italians were not created to live vacuum-packed. Surviving off of text messages and drone footage of their countryside devoid of any foot traffic is of course better than nothing….but it’s not natural. People are of course doing it, but at the same time they are all looking for signs of better days. The bridge is just one example. For better or for worse, time and life must march on.

I am happy to report that I only had one Pocket Coffee while typing this up. I tell you this because while I talk a big game, I still harbor my own lockdown preoccupations. I will most likely post this, and then return to half-tasks where I feel somewhat irritated for no exact reason. The people I love will send me funny videos to watch, and I will watch exactly none of them. I will look at the clock and gauge how much time remains until my next teleconference, or perhaps the 6PM update on the state of disease in the country. That’s just how life is right now.

But like everyone else, I will be more than happy to jump outside again. As one Italian told me after only two weeks into this lockdown, “When we can finally go out again, I’m going to kiss everyone I meet.” I don’t know if I will go that far, but for sure, I’ll be more than happy to messy-up my life again. Plan a trip, see some friends. Check out the new bridge in Genoa. For however we emerge from this, I still feel an immense amount of goodness and trust for what the world holds outside of my door. And with just a bit more patience, hopefully we’ll all get there soon.