“The process works, you just have to show up.”
Just before Christmas I was spotted in the supermarket by Olivia, my yoga instructor. “Megan!” she exclaimed as she pushed her shopping cart with toddler son over to give me a big hug. I returned the embrace, but vocalized my guilt for being a virtual no-show at her class. Heck, I was astounded that she remembered my name. As far as I was concerned, I was a yoga deserter.
“What? No guilt!” she cried as I continued to shame myself for not attending class. Life is busy, but I have always counted yoga as a crucial component of my sanity Throw in my love of running and I recognize that I really do need to stretch– but honestly I’ve been cutting that preventative maintenance out of my routine almost altogether, too. No stretching, just pound-pound-pound before heading off to the next thing on my daily checklist. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
Then I went home for Christmas. I wasn’t back on Cape Cod for a full day before my knee felt like it had caught gangrene and was turning to rot. I couldn’t run. I couldn’t do anything. What the heck happened? This is some bullshit. Am I just getting older, and my body is supposed to start functioning like a 1975 Trabant? You’ve got to be kidding.
The winter of our discontent. The weather doesn’t exactly encourage fine tuning of one’s rituals.
I’ve got too much going on, and the problem is that I try to squish it all inside a 24 hour clock that does not allow for expansion. Instead, I let other things fall out of my medicine cabinet of well-being, and honestly I never really noticed that yoga got knocked out. Then my knee swelled up.
Yoga in a martial arts studio? Heck yes.
“If you ever wonder what it is yoga does for you, go away from it for a little while and then come back.”
This was the observation I heard Olivia make as I reached for my calf and remembered how this particular pose used to be easy. Boy was she ever right. It was the new year, and I felt like a sheepish New Year’s Resolutionary crawling back to her studio with a bum knee. But much like the day where I saw her in Whole Foods, she had no judgment. Instead, I just glanced up at a framed saying nailed above the sign-in sheet. It said, “If you are here, you are awesome.” Olivia’s class may be held in a Tae Kwon Do studio, but I feel like the principles of good discipline are pretty universal.
At the end of class I felt nothing less than awesome.
How bad do you have to go?
I didn’t realize how badly I needed to get back to yoga until my knee malfunctioned and it kept me away from my running shoes. There was no bargaining, only a rather loud, “Hey 37 year old idiot! Treat your body like the fragile object that it is!” So I’ve been giving it a rest, stretching a bunch, and fighting the inertia of bad habits to pay my body a bit more heed. I suck at this game.
This morning. Even the frozen trees thought we humans were nuts for being outside- but I really miss my old loop.
I woke up today after making it to Olivia’s class for two Saturdays in a row- hooray! My knee felt pretty good, and Sunday is typically my day to go for a long run. With freezing rain forecasted for the following morning, I felt like this was the best opportunity to get outside and log some modest miles.
The running trails are freezing right now, but I can’t imagine not being on them.
My knee is still not 100%. I was reminded of this at mile 4 of my run. But the day was beautiful, and most of the ice had been cleared from the Mount Vernon Trail. And I wasn’t the only damn fool out there in 25 degree weather. Lots of other folks were with me running and biking– and I suspect that we were all desperate to recalibrate our mind/body balance before the weather shut us back inside again.
It’s not the numbers that count, it’s the time spent unravelling everything that has been cooped up since I last got to run.
* * *
Over-rising ciabatta dough! A multi-tasking train wreck is just ahead..
Upon completion of my run, I walked through my front door and found that the bread I was making was at the end stage of its second rise. Now, Megan of 2014 fame would have started to prep that dough right away for life on a baking stone, but then I remembered a right knee that was whispering to me softly. I’m kinda ouchy. You might wanna attend to this.
IT Band stretching. And texting my friend at the same time. I’m taking baby steps in this whole slowing down process.
So I ignored my dough and walked out of the kitchen and flipped on my computer. Time for some of that stretching that I had recommitted myself to doing. Luckily for me, Olivia has her own Youtube channel, and she was nice enough to record a post-run stretching video that I have probably watched all of the 400 times that has been recorded on the website. I stretched. It was kinda boring. Someone texted me and I decided to pick up my phone and see what that was all about.
So I’m not completely reformed yet, but I’ve at least got some momentum that should help to get me back on track. That and the fact that I remember how much I missed yoga, a healthy body and yes even the look of an East German Trabant. I don’t want any of them getting stuck in the snow again.
To new beginnings!