Movie Theater Candy, à la française

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Today in Megan’s cultural wanderings, she learned that a product called Strawberry Fluff exists,  and it is for sale in France. I’m not sure that I’m comforted by this new information- nor do I believe that this substance is actually from our planet…

I really love movies- especially the weird foreign ones that are blessedly devoid of aliens and CGI. While occupying space in a country boasting actual movie theaters, I’ve tried to capitalize on this resource from time to time. Today I went to a cinema near Bibliothèque François Mitterrand, primarily because I wanted to check out a movie that appeared to star an actor of Senegalese origin. (Yes, I tend to stick close to this country, and even from afar I’m bound by a sense of allegiance and interest to life in West Africa.)

The theater itself is brand new, and it really makes for a swanky afternoon outing. When I arrived I was running late, so I didn’t get much time to check the place out before rushing up the escalator and into my show. The movie itself did not disappoint, and it was a “based on real events” storyline that served up a healthy dose of smart, heartwarming banter that the French display so effortlessly. Sometimes that’s the only kind of movie you want to experience, especially on a gray rainy day like today.

So although I found the film quite enjoyable, I’ve got to say that this wasn’t the highlight of my movie afternoon. The amusing part came after I left the salle (what do we call that in English- a screening room? I’m losing my words…). Before leaving the building, I wanted to poke around in the cinema’s neat-looking boutique. It appeared to have a big selection of DVDs alongside ironic movie-themed miscellany. As soon as I stepped inside and got a better look- well, Strawberry Fluff happened…..as well as a little slice of shelf-stable Americana.

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If your American eye is not conditioned to anticipate French beverage offerings at the local convenience shops, then this might look normal to you. But really, I walked up here and was baffled that all of this crap was being sold for consumption. I mean, I’m in France, culinary capital du monde. Quelle horreur…
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What the Hell? None of this is indigenous to France, and furthermore I am shocked that any of this made it past the douane in the first place- nevermind contemplating the possibility that none of this should be hawked at the upscale cinema. This establishment, this bastion of complicated French movies that usually have endings that make no sense is selling single boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese for 3,90€ a box. That’s about five and a half bucks! I know that Greece is currently taking the Eurozone and rest of the planet on a gut-wrenching roller coaster ride, but this is outrageous.
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I do love cereal- but I largely gravitate towards Uncle Sam or Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter Crunch. Neither of these were for sale at the movie theater. But they were selling coffee mugs with 9mm handles. At least that product kinda made sense: movies are often about gangsters, who have guns- and who probably drink coffee. Oh forget it.
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Okay, I knew that I was still in France when the actual candy display encircled the most giant containers of Nutella that I have ever seen. I love Nutella just as much as any other kid who spent their early years in Europe- but this looked like the Nutella people went on a date with the Costco people and made a transatlantic baby. A baby that costs 50€ if you wanna pick it up and take it into your movie with you. Good thing your hand can double as a handy scooping device.

The boutique admittedly made for a pleasantly artificial respite from what was otherwise a very dreary day. It was fun to see these products outside of their natural surroundings, and therefore recognize how horrible our American diet really can be if we’re not careful. But who am I kidding? I picked up the mac and cheese because I considered buying a box…but alas, just like in America, I’m far too cheap to pay concession stand prices for crap that can be bought over at Ralph’s (or Stop & Shop, or Harris Teeter) for a fraction of the price.

All in all, this was one groovy theater- but I’ve gotta note that they had one glaring omission in their food offerings. This is a movie theater, and there were no Sno-Caps to be found in the shop- not even the kind accompanied with a six euro price tag. Somehow in France you must be able to sell jumbo tubs of Nutella at a movie theater but not the easy dispensing boxes of the best theater candy ever. Geez. Talk about a French paradox.