“Would you like to try some chocolate from Ukraine?”

This was the offer extended to me by a Ukrainian man who I recently crossed paths with not too long ago. He had a box of chocolates with English writing on it, and of course I didn’t recognize the brand. Still, I had no reason to doubt the provenance and I selected a hazelnut milk chocolate piece in an act of gratitude but also quiet respect. Yes respect for a nation that has been going through so much <insert descriptor that can adequately capture the Ukrainian reality>.

Even more so since February, it is not unusual to see cars driving around Rome with Ukrainian license plates. And to be honest, most of the cars that I see are luxury cars. Not all of them—but the overwhelming majority are. It can only lead you to believe that those who had the means to leave at or before the start of the war, indeed have taken cover in safer locales. For the majority of the population—especially your average able-bodied adult male— there is little question at to what they are currently enduring right now. Nobody’s rolling around the cobbled streets of Rome in search of a good gelato.

I find myself spending a lot of time thinking about or following the latest events of the war. I do this, I but I don’t feel as though I have any declarative statements to make that would add value to the ones already uttered. Unless you are Darth Putin, then you only need be at a kindergarten-level of comprehension to understand who the good guys and who the bad guys are in this fight. People ingesting a steady diet of carefully curated state-controlled media might claim otherwise…but the majority of the planet knows that this is crazy talk. And those of us who have been around the block a few times know that this is just another iteration of global madness, and we will only see more in future conflicts. To quote Colum McCann, let the great wold spin.

It has gotten colder in Rome, but it’s not as cold as it could be. We’re clicking ever closer to the December solstice, and with it you are starting to get that sharp winter light in both the late morning and early afternoon. It’s a compelling sight on any day you’re in the right spot to witness it, but right now I appreciate these simple things even more. As we move into the holiday season. As I watch far too many video clips of soldiers reclaiming land or families finding creative ways to beat the cold in their window-shattered and bombed out communities.

I really don’t know what I am trying to say here—not that it really does make a difference. As another witness to history creation in real time, I reflect on the fact that today is Armistice Day. I think about the contributions from multiple continents and also kind of wonder if the United States unwittingly removed the real power of remembrance by renaming November 11th “Veterans Day”. I also think about how today is Polish Independence Day, and how that nation has contributed so much— and at the same time (and maybe as a result) has no fucks to give. Given what they have lived through, they call things as they see them.

I meant for this post to be me just showing a bunch of photos of the invasion that is Christmas treats now in the supermarkets here. This ubiquity is understandable, especially given that Italy has no Thanksgiving buffer in November. But as I look at the Italian chocolates, I continue to remain stuck on that Ukrainian piece unexpectedly dropped in front of me. Proudly offered and quickly consumed by every other non-Ukrainian person around me. A small gesture of offering, and a small acceptance with great pleasure.

As we continue to move towards the holiday season, I know that I will continue to have these contrasting thoughts. I receive a news alert on my phone and then see a car with Ukrainian tags pass by in a city that is upping its Christmas decoration game with each passing day. On days especially like today, my brain expands to thinking not just of Ukrainians fighting to protect and regain every inch of what is theirs—but also the stories of those who have came before all this current mess. Those who were thrust into the same sort of grim reality. I suppose that is a part of being an adult: holding an overflowing mass of beautiful and also very ugly realities in your hand— all the while trying to not let any of it spill over too much.

In the United Kingdom, the phrase of today is “We Will Remember Them”. In France you will hear “Pour aider ceux qui restent” – to help those who remain. This persistent and simultaneous effort of remembering what has come to pass, while tending to those who made it through, is incredibly important in my eyes. At the end of the day, we are all tiny and seemingly insignificant human beings— but if we can continue to work together to preserve just principles with mutual support and solidarity, then it makes all of our individual efforts incredibly worthwhile.

I am grateful to every person who has fought to keep these principles on the forefront.