I have a large postcard print of a painting by Pierre Bonnard called La Sieste. I picked it up ten years ago after seeing the painting in Paris’s Grand Palais, and at the time I was drawn to both the colors, the light…and the utter repose of the painting’s subject: a (nude) woman flopped down on a bed. Deceptively simple things. 

And now we’re in December 2021. It’s Christmas, and we are all balancing the holiday expectations with workloads still heavily seasoned by COVID. Each day I wake up and wonder if today will be the day. I constantly monitor my body’s function, knowing both that it’s only going to be a matter of time before I have the virus, but also willing each day not to be the day because there is much I want to get done in the coming week or two. Here it might be interesting to note that Italians often “say” the reverse of what we say in terms of exclamation. Instead of “ha ha ha!” they write “ah ah ah”. Simlarly for Santa Claus AKA Babbo Natale, he says, “oh oh oh!”.  

One note before I get on: I can complain about COVID being a minor convenience because I am lucky enough to be thrice vaccinated. I know that this is not the case for many who do not have access to a vaccine nor are the medically eligible. If you fall into either of these two categories, I hereby apologize and recommend you stop reading. 

The daily stress that we are all living with in the land of the pandemic has a cumulative effect. While I am no longer tuning in each night to see Italy’s tally of cases, at about 6pm each night I still flip on my phone to see what’s been published as the daily numbers. Yesterday’s case count went above 20K. It makes me cringe and bumps up my anxiety ever so slightly before I carry on with whatever task I was doing: taking out the recycling before the announced trash strike, or running to the supermarket. It’s like we’re all living in a state of limbo, waiting for the signal that we’ve been released.

I still look at my postcard reproduction of La Sieste. The difference between then and now, is that I look at it with the eyes of an older and more easily tired person. Instead of seeing an artfully-composed nap, I now see the imagine of a human living in this pandemic. The kind of I’m just gonna lay myself out on here until this entire thing passes cuz I’ve had enough.  And in this way, the postcard makes me smile because I know that this isn’t actually an option but at least someone is doing it.

My goal was to only post images and commentary on the lights and cheery aspects of this season—and I think that this is still possible. I think it is important, however, to balance the disquieting realism with a healthy dose of life’s more bright moments. Here in Italy, I’ve got this ridiculous free calendar containing images of various “everyday objects” with the words in Italian and the words for it in Neapolitan dialect. Everyday objects like i caciocavalli—a specific type of cheese produced in southern Italy. 

Just below it, there’s the word for fear (la paura) and it contains a woman shrieking at the sight of a mouse holding a ball of the caciocavallo. This calendar is so specifically Italian in its humor, and because of that it makes my smile as I realize that I am gradually understanding the tiniest aspects of life here a bit better.  I may not ever get to everything, but the promise that so much more awaits is important to bear in mind. All across the planet we’ve got so much fodder just sitting patiently, waiting to see if our individual brains will catch the amusement or not. In the times of a pandemic, I have come to find that is one of things keeping me from maintaining a days-long sieste in my bedroom. 

Rome is already dressed up for Christmas and the trees of both Rome and Vatican City have been lit up despite way too many rainstorms this week. While the main roads grow crowded with masked shoppers, I’m doing my best to get out and enjoy the sights when things are more quiet. Use the extra strings of light and color to remind me that it’s not productive to stay fixated on the bad news. Like it or not, we’re rolling into year three of pandemic scream emojis. My personal objective for December and beyond is to intersperse my sprawled-on-bed days with a curiosity that keeps me on the hunt for new discoveries that make me smile. If you’re still reading, I’ll share below this week’s pick in amazing Italian Christmas observation:

Oh oh oh, indeed! Get vaccinated if you can. Get a booster if you can. It’s the best gift you could give to your family and community.