Like my outfit? Actually, I don’t care if you do….

…but Turkish Airlines must be impressed with my interpretation of desert chic, because I assess that they have mishandled my baggage right into the Nile River, or maybe the Sea of Marmara. Whatever the case, I’d kinda like my lost suitcase situation to be resolved soon. I say this not so much because I want more than one change of underwear, but rather because therein lies a stash of saucisson, Châteauneuf du Pape and dark rum- all wrapped up in my PT gear.  

[Yes, I remember that it’s still Ramadan, but I’m in Cairo to meet up with two Surface Warfare Officers. And we take scurvy prevention very seriously.]

I absolutely abhor vacation slide shows- especially ones that subject you to amateur portraits of landmarks that people can already access on their own. It’s called Google. I get that you don’t need me to post pictures of the pyramids at Giza and Saqqara- but I still feel compelled to do so. The good news is that I’m operating on three hours of sleep in the past 40 hours, and given my already well-known short-attention span for things like this, you’ll be zipping through this posting in no time.

I now understand Q*Bert’s origins…but this feels more 3-D than Atari’s version.

…and this sign just begs prospective Q*Berts to become inductees into The Darwin Awards

You know what this is. (And if you don’t, let me know and I’ll come over and kick your ass for you. Free of charge.)

Step Pyramid of Djoser. Wikipedia says that it’s the world’s oldest substantial monumental structure to be built of finished stone. Feel free to do your own fact-checking, but know this:

….there‘s a Pizza Hut in the basement!

According to Egyptologists, there are two types of hieroglyphs. Traditional ones that look like this, and others that have been discovered far more recently. By me in fact.

 To find the markings, I crawled down this thing- which I don’t remember the name (sun stroke was in full swing at this point).

Modern hieroglyphs. I know. They are impressive in their intricacy.

 World’s Largest Ball of Twine

I believe that this is the “expectant camel” parking zone

Okay I’m really tired, and my motivation levels are quite low. I will close by telling you that a twenty minute power nap on a hardwood floor (using a vinyl beanbag as an excellent pillow) has yielded a breakthrough on the wayward suitcase case:

Great! But what’s the “station”? Damned if I know. The website was in Turkish, and this is how they translate what it says. I’m not going to find out tonight, since no one in the customer service sector answers the phone in this country (note: I think that this is a secretly brilliant tactic). 

It might be nice to get my bag delivered tomorrow- but if it doesn’t get here, no problem. I have today’s clothing all washed and ready to go for tomorrow.