I think that I have subconsciously modeled the living room table after the current state of my brain.
I was kind of awed at the television news today (guess which channel is always on in my Dad’s house?). I walked in for my weekly five-minute dose of incessant “Breaking News” and was greeted with the tragic images of the earthquake’s aftermath in Haiti. Miraculously, a smiling man was being carried out of a collapsed supermarket six days after the quake. While this heartening story was told, I looked below the video to the crawler and was also notified that today is “Blue Monday”. Apparently the third day in January is when we are all at the peak of our post-Christmas gloom, depressed and full of self-pity.
Depressed? Tell that to the guy who walked into a supermarket last week for some milk and just found his way out today. There’s so much that we should be thankful for right now- like our health, shelter and safety- it’s really a crime that we allow our excesses to obscure these gifts so easily. Blue Monday? I thought that we were doing pretty well with honoring Dr. King’s work on this day.
Now that I’ve reminded myself about why I must be ceaselessly thankful for all the basic life support comforts that I enjoy, I will let you know that I’ve got a week until I am out of here. This means that I’m well into Pre-deployment Space Out Mode (yes, I believe that’s a clinical term). This is a state of existence where military service members simultaneously ignore and internalize the inevitability of their upcoming departures to strange new places.
….or maybe it’s just the side effects from inhaling copious amounts of dust before actually donning the face mask…
I can’t say for sure, but when you are feeling this way, it’s kind of akin to how you might feel if you were preparing to leave for the Moon. What to pack? What to expect? There is no doubt that you will forget to bring certain things with you, and so you finally throw your hands up and just exist until you are forced to walk out the door one final time. That’s pretty much me right now. My days are the same: work out, home improvement, eat, chew gum, repeat. This routine works quite well, and this week marks the last push where I can get all of my continental requirements accomplished and finally shove off.
Thank God.
One year of talking about moving to Africa before actually doing so is about 11 months too many for me. I’ve never been one to push things off that are hard, and I’ve never once pushed the snooze button. I’m not saying that I’m fearless- quite the contrary- I’m full of trepidation, but I reason that the sooner I hop into the fire, the sooner I can acclimate myself to the scorching flames.
I’m nervous, but excited. I’m ready to go, but I know that there will be lots and lots of challenges to face (like forcing myself to be social). Still, I go forward with excellent odds that I won’t be wandering the street without food, water or shelter. I also head out armed with one of the most valuable documents that any human being could be so lucky to possess: an American passport. That little blue book really is an insurance policy against any Blue Monday.