Dolcetti e Scherzetti

Today I woke up feeling like I’d slept the correct amount of sleep—but then realized that it was only 0530. This was befuddling because in general, if you’re not working on a Sunday, you allow yourself to sleep a tiny bit longer. Then my brain recalled that we’d reached the end of “ora legale”—Daylight Savings Time—in Italy.  Springing forward and falling back is such an archaic concept. 

Much like how my computerized car, built in the year 2018, will not automatically shift the dashboard clock on its own, I have to ask myself why we haven’t evolved. Why this enduring and unnecessarily complexity in our routines? Haven’t we managed to streamline most other aspects? 

In addition to moving the clocks back an hour, today is also Halloween. They don’t celebrate it much in Italy, but it has been gaining popularity. “Trick or Treat” for example is translated as “Dolcetto o Scherzetto”. The idea of a harmless trick or (even better) a small Italian treat is nice to contemplate. 

Recently I was gifted a small box of Sicilian sweets that can only be described as the world’s best treats: almond and pistachio confections that honestly trump anything I used to get in my trick or treat bag. I received them from a coworker who had just made a short hop home, and on his way back he picked up i pasticcini that were individually wrapped in a way that was suited for travel. All told, the idea that homemade Sicilian desserts went from a single town in Sicily ultimately to my apartment is wonderous. It’s an example of a very complicated evolution that has become something we take for granted.

But back to coping with the twice-yearly time shift. Like jet lag, dealing with this aspect of life has no easy fix. It remains a sort of intellectual dead ends of knowledge in terms of having no engineered solution. More compelling than time changes, we’ve got many more physical and emotional challenges that can’t be solved by invention. 

Even today, often I stumble upon these kinds of moments with naïve surprise. I think to myself, “Isn’t there a way I can think or even buy my way out of this?” After all, I’ve managed to graduate from a being costume-wearing kid who mastered spelling and writing to a grown adult with a wallet of driving licenses (yes, two) and various methods to conduct financial transactions. Given this generally successful advancement in modern society, I delude myself by assuming that there’s a blanket equation that can be used to solve to every difficulty that awaits.

I remember over a decade ago when I was going through a very major breakup. Every morning I woke up and felt like I had been in a car accident. It was miles worse than the general “Whyyyy” I feel when I remember that we’ve shifted the clocks again.  This process of readjustment was felt far more acutely and it took a very long time to not feel like the worst person on the planet. Indeed at one point I proclaimed, “I want a fast-forward button” even though I knew this wouldn’t be possible.  Emotional distress is not something that any of us can grow out of, and it is not something that can be intellectualized away.

The scares that might make me up our adult-sized tricks are the kind that can only dealt with given time. No cheating by setting the clock forward, only a minute by minute lived experience that will eventually chip away at the issue. Indeed, I’d rather be handed a treat like one of those Sicilian cookies that were laced with almond paste and sugar. The delight is short-lived, but the entire evolution is far easier to navigate.

One reason that Halloween remains fun to experience as adults is because you get to see how kids who delight in activities that center around harmless scares and sugar highs. Considering what spurs and anxiety dread as an adult, you’d never think of incorporating your fears into their Halloween festivities.  Here’s a theoretical example:

“Listen young one, when you get older, something will keep you up at night and perhaps wake you early in the morning. Maybe it’s something that you will have to go and tell somebody something that will make them really, really sad.”

First, most adult fears would make for the crappiest haunted house ever. And sure, the kid might understand that this is example is more or less unpalatable…..but he’s probably more scared that 2021’s version of Freddy Krueger is going to creep into his room at night.  They’re on the whole fortunate that they don’t yet grasp the nuance of why some aspects of the human condition are more disconcerting. The real adult challenges are not easily vanquished…and in any case it’s best not to tell them anyway that as they grow older, some hard stuff will continue to be hard to overcome.

It’s not even four o’clock here in the afternoon, and indeed the light is starting to tip towards evening. My mind hates this. Yes, intellectually I know that this will pass—much like other mental and emotional challenges that we face—but for now, I’ve just got to sit with it. In the meantime, I’ll strive to occupy my time with smaller, more simpler pleasures. October scares of all sizes will continue to come and go throughout the year. It’s just a matter of giving each one its appointed time.